Why is it so hard to end up certain relationships and let go of certain people? Could it be the habit, the sense of security? Maybe, just maybe, when we think of getting out of a relationship that lasted long, what really holds us back is the familiarity and the fear of unknown? After all, most of us are afraid of changes.
It’s hard to move from your old home to another, to change your neighborhood, your pain in the ass neighbors with possibly worse ones, the so familiar home-office, office-home drive.
It’s hard enough when you have to change your job, it’s even harder getting hired for the first time and leaving behind college life.
Most of us, most of the times, prefer the familiar over the unfamiliar. Extending this supposition, this goes for relationships too. If you have been in a relationship for a considering long time, the thought of being single again might be scary. Especially when you don’t even remember how it was back then. For some committed people it seems like ages since they’ve been on the single market. The guys think they lost their flirting skills, the girls feel weird when they start dating again…
But until you get to that point of being available again, you come back to reality. And it’s no maryland. It’s a 4 year old relationship or a 6 year old marriage that you consider ending. Could it be that one of the reasons we’re hesitating is because we are afraid, because deep down insight we are just cowards? We feel safe because we are on a well-known territory but is that enough to settle for?
If you are used to doing things together, it feels hard to do them alone again. It’s always better to watch a movie or walk the dog together rather than by yourself. It’s nice to have somebody you can talk to about anything. If it’s 2 in the morning and you’re feeling sad or gloomy, it’s good to know there’s someone there to pick up the phone.
Finally, it all comes down to decisions. Are you ready to go back from “we” to “I”? Are you prepared to start a new chapter? Are you up to let go of the “knew” and embrace the “new”?
In the end, there are 2 types of people. The ones who prefer simple calculations, with no X factors and the ones that aren’t afraid of equations because it’s always a challenge for them to find out what the unknown factor equals with.